It’s been quite some time since I wrote about anything that I’m willing to share. Even my poems have stayed hidden inside the depths of my notebook. I had one of my good friends check me the other night; I appreciate her beyond imaginable. She told me to stop bottling up how I feel and talk to people. She also said I have a website for a reason, I’m here for the public to see and read what I have to say. So what better topic to start off with than one that most, including myself every now and then, would rather not discuss or act like they don’t care about…love.
A few weeks ago I had just finished a shoot and one of my friends asked if I watched “Love Is…”, the new series on the OWN channel and told me we had to at least watch the first episode. Giving me a brief background of the show, it is a true love story based in the 90s about Mara Brock Akil (screenwriter/TV Producer for shows like Girlfriends, Being Mary Jane, and The Game) and her now husband. When it comes to television, I usually only watch Power, Insecure, Criminal Minds, and any documentaries that will catch my eye on Netflix but this was right up my alley so I had to give it a chance.
That day I ended up watching every episode of “Love Is…” so I could be caught up for the next; it was THAT good! I have no problem admitting this but I love love. Without a doubt, I’m a hopeless romantic. It’s such a beautiful thing and it truly does bring out the best in people. Before even starting this series love was on my mind and the more I started watching it the heavier my thoughts got, wondering what love really meant to me. On all my social media accounts I asked my followers what love meant to them. So here you go, I have put together my personal feelings about what love is, as well as what others have said; this is just a small glimpse though. I’m not only going to discuss love when it comes to your significant other, but also family, friends, life, and yourself.
Kind & Compassionate
The older I get the more I realize the way I was raised plays a tremendous role in the way I love people today. When I was growing up, not only did my family tell me how much they loved me, they showed me every chance they could; not with material things, even though I never wanted for anything. Their kindness was instilled in me and now when I love (family, friend, boyfriend) I go all the way! I’m constantly speaking positivity into their lives, uplifting them when they’re down, and keeping their feelings in mind. How a person makes/made you feel is something that will always stick with you. Believe me, I have had people talk to me crazy, no remorse; there’s no coming back from that and that’s when the relationship has to be ended. Taking someone you love feelings into consideration helps the relationship flow better. Being kind and compassionate to yourself is important too because if you can’t do that for you, how could you possibly be that to someone else?
Honest
The people close to me know I will always and forever keep it real. I love them and so I should be able to tell them how I feel. No sugar-coating, no holding back words; say how you feel and say what’s real. Just like Black Thought says in The Roots song “You Got Me”, “If something’s on your chest, let it be known”. When I was growing up that was one of my moms biggest things, don’t lie and just be honest. I have such an amazing relationship with her because of this. Both my mom and grandmom are the most honest people I know. They keep it real at all times; even if it may hurt my feelings for a second, I more than likely needed to hear it. Communication is essential in any relationship but a lot of times the lack of it is what becomes the downfall. Nowadays people would rather give up and quit than talk about what needs to be discussed. Or even better, they hop on social media and make subliminal posts/tweets. That’s a BIG no-no for me. While I was watching “Love Is…” I remember them saying, “Never make excuses for how you really feel.” Love is being able to be open, honest, and vulnerable about whatever’s on your heart and mind.
Understanding
When I asked people what love was to them, almost everyone said understanding. There are no two people on this Earth who are exactly the same. Every one is different in their own special way. When you love someone, you grow to understand their needs and wants. You understand why they are who they are and do what they do. When you love someone you understand they are not by any means and will never be perfect but you accept them for who they are. Let me be VERY clear about that last statement. I’m not saying love someone, even if they are an asshole, who knows they are an asshole, and won’t change for not only you but most importantly for themselves. You have to understand that you have flaws too but as long as the good surpasses the bad, keep on loving.
Genuine
The definition of genuine is “truly what something is said to be; authentic – (of a person, emotion, or action) sincere.” Love is whole-heartedly genuine, without a doubt. You’ll never have to question if it’s real or not. It’ll be a feeling that’s so genuine it’s totally new to you. There won’t be any need or room for hidden agendas. I’ve been trying to read least two books a month and I’m currently reading “The Law of Divine Compensation” by Marianne Williamson. I’m halfway through the book and I’ve already been recommending it to people; my mom is even reading the book after she saw it in my Amazon cart. In the book, Marianne says “love makes us wake up in the morning with a sense of purpose & a flow of creative ideas.” I agree 100%, especially when mentioning the love you have for your career. It has to be genuine and real to give you that sense of urgency to get up and work on the person you want to become. I told someone yesterday if you don’t love what you’re doing and aren’t happy, get rid of it and let it go. We were speaking about jobs but that pertains to relationships are well.
Unconditional
Last but certainly not least, loving unconditionally is what love means to me. There are no boundaries and no limits. I’m riding for you until I can’t ride anymore. With having a big heart and loving people unconditionally, I have gotten my little feelings hurt once, maybe even twice. For some weird reason people get a thrill out of taking advantage of hearts like mine; it’s disgusting, I know but that’s just how some people move. There’s damn near nothing I won’t do for someone when I love them because, in my eyes, there shouldn’t be a cap. But remember what I said earlier, you can’t be out here all willy-nilly, going hard for someone who doesn’t treat you right and isn’t reciprocating the same energy that you’re giving them. I’ve had to remind myself of this too. Another quote from the book I’m reading says, “as you send love out, the universe will send love back.” I say this all the time and believe this to be true. This goes for both positive and negative energies. With my love being so unconditional, I’m going to support you even if you don’t see your fullest potential. I’m going to stick by you through your lowest points, reminding you that you got this and you got me; you’re going to be good at the end of the day, no matter what.
Kindness, compassion, honesty, understanding, genuineness, and unconditional are just a few things that love means to me. Hopefully, this post has your mind going. I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on this and what Love Is to you.